I remember a line from Steel Magnolias (maybe another clue?) where Dolly Parton says something like, “Tears with Laughter is my favorite emotion.” I’m not sure the quote is right, forgive me, but I was very young when the movie came out. However, the essence of the quote stuck for me. I’m hoping that it is also a sign of healing and maybe some acceptance. My wife has had a few of those moments lately…
We were riding in the car and she said, “Maybe I should become a lesbian and we can both be celibate queer people for the rest of our lives.” I then said without thinking, “or you could just invite Bradley Cooper over.” She immediately started laughing and crying at the same time. She said, “Oh no, we are going to like the same men.” She was smiling through the tears. I thought to myself, “Honey, we’ve always liked the same men.”
The other night I went out to a movie. I texted her to let her know when I’d be home. She sent back, “Don’t forget to pick up the dog food.” Three seconds later she sent, “Oh, and I need you to pick up a very good vibrator.” I was in the movies when I saw the text and almost spit coke through my nose! You have to understand how big a step that is for her to even use the word vibrator.
Just yesterday she was on the bed thinking out loud. She said, “How could I have missed it? You always talked about how you liked Beyonce, JLo and Janet. I thought that was because of the way they looked. Now I realize that all gay guys like them!”
None of this is to minimize the trauma that she is going through. However, little comments like those above give me hope that she will be able to recover and thrive after all this… and that we will be good friends whether or not we are under the same roof.