Thoughts on Amendment One from a Friend…

This was a post from a friend of mine.  She said I could post it on my blog.  Great thoughts and insights…



If you don’t think gay marriage is “right” then don’t have one, or support a faith community that supports them. But NC, educate yourselves. This is not ABOUT gay marriage- but are we really so without critical thinking skills, so ignorant, that we in NC cannot see the following: it doesn’t make “gay” marriage legal. Personally, I wish it did, but IT DOES NOT. So people worried about “protecting” marriage (from whom, btw? Do we need some marriage threat level warning system against perceived marriage terrorists?) – stop listening to people who are using you for their own political agendas. Don’t harm women and children, period, and don’t pass laws that do so simply because you are opposed to the idea that a low doesn’t even impact. USE LOGIC.

I’m still on a soapbox, so I will also say this. This issue is extremely important to me, and I have taken the time to understand it. I have talked to ministers, phds in religion and ethics, constitutional law folks, and phds in criminal justice. Perhaps, every one of you should do the same.If you do however, talk to scholars. Scholars are trained to: a) tell you their biases up front, and b) design valid and reliable studies that explore questions. I spent YEARS learning how to do that. My marriage, though legal and performed by an ordained, very faith-oriented, family- oriented, and Godly minister for whom I have the utmost respect, is not recognized in the Church I attended. In fact, that church considers my (straight) marriage a sin. So let me put it to you this way. The language of this amendment, ” marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State”. Well, my Church interprets that as ONE marriage- divorce not allowed, and is a backer of this bill. So all of you supporting this because your minister says it’s a sin if you don’t- you better hope that you, or he, has never been divorced (and you better hope it is a he or YOU ARE WRONG in the eyes of some churches- who ARE IMPACTING POLITICAL DECISIONS. Because some Churches then think your (and definitely think that MY) legal, religious marriage, is not valid.

So riddle me this: Evangelical Protestant groups have compiled research on ministers. According to the FASICLD (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development), “Eight hundred eight (808 or 77%) of the pastors we surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage. Three hundred ninety-nine (399 or 38%) of pastors said they were divorced or currently in a divorce process. Three hundred fifteen (315 or 30%) said they had either been in an ongoing affair or a one-time sexual encounter with a parishioner.”

According to Zikmund, Lummis, and Chang (1998), in their analysis of divorce trends –” and “ever divorced” is a much better measure of divorce rate than “currently divorced” because remarriage obscures the true divorce rate — the Southern Baptist clergy had among the lowest ever-divorced rates (17% of the women, 4% of the men), and the American Baptists (19% women, 13% men) and Evan. Lutheran Church in America (19% women, 9% men) were about tied. The highest clergy divorce rate is found among the Unitarian Universalists (47% women, 44% men) with the other denominations in between”. (WHICH, as an aside, I wonder who these Southern Baptist female clergy are? Wait, Children’s Ministry and Music Ministry). According to

– The normal lifestyle of American young adults is to live together for a period of time in a type of informal trial marriage. (CURRENTLY, Domestic Abuse is covered, under the new amendment, it might not be. WE DON’T KNOW)

-Couples enter into their first marriage at a older age than in the past.

– A growing percentage of committed couples have decided to live in a common-law relationship rather than get married. This is particularly true among some elderly who fear reduction in government support payments.

– When 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states were surveyed (The margin of error is ±2 percentage points). The survey found:

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.

25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.

Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.


Religion % have been divorced

Jews 30%

Born-again Christians 27%

Other Christians 24%

Atheists, Agnostics 21%

My point (finally):

There is no evidence that religion has a protective influence on marriage. FOR ONCE, NC, look at what is really happening instead of how you wish it would be. That has never helped our state, but we have a long history of bigotry, hatred, racism, and sexism. Again, if you want to protect the family, then for goodness sake, work on your own. But you had better be really sure, that if you oppose this due to what your preacher/minister/priest has told you, that they live what they preach, and that one day vague poorly written laws don’t impact your freedom or rights.

via (2) If you don’t think….


The Messy Message that Blew Me Away at Buckhead Church

This is the message I mentioned on Sunday by Andy Stanley for Northpoint Church.  The link is just below the summary.  Let’s just say that I’m still in amazement.  The first time I go back to church looking for a place I can connect and THIS is the message I hear! While it doesn’t describe my situation exactly, it comes pretty dang close.  Watch it and come to your own conclusions.

Christian, Part 5

Andy Stanley

The people Jesus loved were messy. The way Jesus loved was messy. He ate with tax collectors and talked with adulterers. His disciples struggled and we still struggle today to understand his extraordinary love. In this message, Andy Stanley unwraps the two ingredients that made Jesus – love revolutionary – the secret of the most irresistible message ever preached.

via North Point TV :: Video Messages.